For personal change to happen you need to be open to it. Often you may be motivated to change your behaviour when you receive positive and constructive feedback from others. However if there is judgment or a self-righteous flavour attached to the feedback, you can spiral into a defensive response. You want to be accepted unconditionally despite your shortcomings so to experience positive self-development you need to seek out the support of objective and caring people.
So how does change happen. Change is not embraced easily. Change is difficult because it upsets your existing “applecart”. But regardless of how dysfunctional your “applecart” might be, it is familiar and familiarity is comforting even if it doesn’t really serve you. It may have at one time but upon honest reflection you acknowledge that it’s power has shifted from helping you thrive to repressing your growth. So here’s the scoop. When the pain of staying in the same place i.e. tolerating your dysfunctional “applecart” becomes greater than the pain which comes from shifting to a new “applecart”, you will be highly motivated to change.
Once in this frame of mind, you will be open to change and be willing to move forward in your life in a positive way. You will need to identify and clarify where and who you are right now and what you desire to manifest in your future. This can take some work but you can only change that which you have named. Questions such as, “If I could transform one thing in my life, what would it be?” or “What am I tolerating today?” can lead you on an interesting journey within, to places long forgotten or ignored.
Once you have discovered the seed to your desire you can begin to design a clear, realistic and accomplishable vision. Through self-awareness and personal accountability, you will close the gap between your present day reality and your future vision.
What have you been tolerating or putting up with lately, which needs to be changed? Share your story by commenting to this post.
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© 2012 Lifework Coaching Inc.
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